I am back. To blogging. To Bombay. To everything I did not think I was too used to but I am. Unlike what people told me I would feel, I felt good as I inhaled the smell-filled air when I landed. The sight of the unbelievably small roads and crowded slums before the plane landed. I enjoyed it as the humid air hugged me tight. And the honking and sounds of people talking aloud....And I felt my system welcoming all this like it was a part of my system that had gone missing for ages.
It's not like I've been away for too long. In fact I haven't. But there comes a time in your life when you take a barrage of life-changing decisions. In my case, there has been marriage, moving into a new country, life on a dependant visa, deciding to do a MBA instead of taking the comfortable path and do a master's in journalism, a profession that I have grown into over 6 long years. And I did not realise how weary all the changes left me, simply because they all chose to happen at the same time. Marriage I would say has been the easiest choice to transition into and I love it but not life on a dependant visa. I wish I knew it would be so difficult to be completely happy with.
In the beginning, when you leave everything you are so familiar with, you are excited at the prospect of "change" and "newness"... After a while you just want to cosy up with things you find predictable. Like the protective coddling from your parents (however irritating it gets after day 2) or the clutter in your small room which you share with your sibling. My home (I mean, the one I live with the other half) is exactly the way I wanted it but the almost-perfectness also feels wierd.
It's funny how its possible to feel divided too. Between your old life and new. They are two different lives I am leading now. And I have realised that no matter which side I am, I'll keep wanting a bit of the other in the one I am leading at any given time.